![]() 08/15/2014 at 12:40 • Filed to: oppo review, blog | ![]() | ![]() |
As some of you may know, I recently spent a few weeks in Greece. I live in the Washington, D.C. area, and because my G650 was out for an oil change, I had to fly commercial. My itinerary was D.C.>Paris>Athens, and the first leg of that trip was aboard an Air France A380. For those of you who do not know, the A380 is the largest commercial passenger jet in the skies today. It seats roughly four thousand people, and is about a mile long and a mile wide (read: ~550 people, 240 feet long, 260 feet wide). It can take off weighing more than a million pounds, and each plane costs something like $500 million dollars.
After a quick check-in and a relatively streamlined boarding process, the Air France flight attendants asked us to stow all of our "loo-gahj" (soft J), we fastened our seatbelts, and away we went!
(Disclaimer: Airbus wanted me to review the A380 so bad, they told their buddies at Air France to sell me a ticket for a transatlantic flight. This was very special and exclusive, and by no means were there 500+ other people on this plane that had the same experience as me. Also, Jennifer Lawrence got off the plane right before I got on. She was in Paris for something, I don't know. Text me, Jen.)
Exterior:
Right, so this plane is huge. It's a true double-decker, having two rows of windows for basically the entire length of the plane. It looks a little...derpy. The nose is oddly bulbous, and due to its fantastic size, it doesn't seem very aerodynamic. The plane is split into two cabins, the upper cabin and the main cabin, and each cabin has its own separate boarding entrance. The main point here is that this plane is very, very big.
Interior:
This is a nice plane! I sat in the "premium economy" section (the light blue seats on the cabin map, upper deck), because by the time I found out we were on an A380, there were no available upgrades into business class, and upgrading to first class ("La Premiere", the WWII-esque red bomb/torpedo shaped seats at the front of the plane)(honestly, who thought that was a good idea?) cost roughly the same as a nice boat.
At night, the ambient lighting in the cabin is a very nice, deep purple. It was relaxing, and because the cabin is so wide and spacious, it had the feel of sitting in a nice hotel lobby late at night. The seats themselves were also quite spacious. I think that the economy seats on this plane are wider and have more legroom than the economy seats of any other plane. I have sat business class on smaller planes that had a good bit less room than the premium economy seat I sat in here.
Each seat had its own screen and attached phone/controller thingy. I'll get to that stuff later.
Acceleration/Handling/Braking:
It takes about two miles to get this monster of a plane off the ground, but when the A380 is throttled up at takeoff, it gains speed nicely. Please, keep in mind that the plane weighs over a million pounds, so the fact that it even moves forward was impressive to me. The fact that it leaves the ground is borderline magic. How do planes work, anyways?
I have to admit, I have never flown an A380, however, I have flown a Carbon Cub SS, a high-performance single propeller light sport aircraft. That plane was incredibly maneuverable and responsive. I though of the Carbon Cub as the BRZ/FRS/GT86 of the sky. Not fast, but responsive and delightful. In contrast, I have to assume that the A380 is the polar opposite of the Carbon Cub. I assume the A380 handles like a cross between a polar bear swimming through peanut butter and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walking on its arms. In automotive terms, I figure it handles slightly better than a Peterbilt, and slightly worse than a Challenger SRT8 ( zing!).
I'm not sure if planes have brakes, but at one point we were going really fast in the air, and then at a later point we were stopped on the ground, so something slowed us down. Whatever it was, it worked.
Ride:
Very smooth, and very enjoyable. I think that the size of this plane lends to a smooth ride, sort of how a cruise ship rides smoother than a sport boat. It was like sitting on a large building that also happened to be flying sideways through the air. This plane flew smoother than any airliner I have ever been on.
Gearbox:
Tremec 6-speed with a heavy duty clutch. Notchy, mechanical, makes a satisfying snick as you row through each gear.
Toys:
The infotainment system was absolutely excellent. Each seat has its own screen of a very decent size and resolution. This screen had about a thousand menus and screens. The "movies" section had a lot of great movies, new and old. I watched Snowpiercer, which was great, and Grand Budapest Hotel, which was good. You could also access flight information, the menu for food/refreshments, games, a chat program between seats (each little attached seat-back telephone had a fully qwerty keyboard) that was fun to use for about 4 minutes. You could create an open lobby, and name it, and people in the chat program would see that lobby and could join it if they wanted to talk. It was a great way to meet fellow travelers (Chat>Create Lobby>Lobby_Name: MILEHIGHCLUB??).
One of my favorite features were the "cameras". The plane had three exterior mounted cameras: tail, nose, and belly. You could scroll through this and see a live feed of what was going on outside the plane. Really only that interesting for takeoff and landing, but still a very cool feature. Pictured below is the tail camera right before takeoff.
Audio:
The A380 is a very quiet plane. I don't know if the main deck is any louder than the upper deck, but my trip was far quieter than an average airliner. I honestly didn't need my noise-canceling headphones. Usually, the headphones reduce the dull roar of an airliner cabin into a dull whisper, but having the headphones on in the A380 made the cabin pretty much silent. By the way, those headphones are Bose QC-15s, and they are incredible for travel.
The infotainment system also had some radio stations and stuff, but I didn't really listen to any.
Service:
The service was excellent! About 10 minutes after we took off, I asked for a beer, expecting to be told that it was too early in the flight for beer, or that they would gladly bring me a Bud Light for eight dollars if I had a credit card. Instead, this excellent man looked at me and said "How many?". How many! I thought about it for a second, decided to try my luck, and said "four?" Without a moment's pause, the gentlemen went and got me four Heinekens, at once, and put them on my tray. They were free. Note: The beers were Redbull sized. It was weird. Whatever, we were 15 minutes into the flight and I had four cold beers in front of me, 10/10.
Value:
I don't own/run an airline, but I imagine that A380s are a good value in the long run, as Airbus has lined up hundreds of orders.
As far as being a passenger, it's a great value! I don't think a ticket is any more expensive on an A380 than another type of aircraft for a given flight, but the experience is definitely more enjoyable for the passenger. There aren't too many in the air yet, but if you get the chance to fly one, do it!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 12:45 |
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Like the Gumpert Apollo, does the performance of the vehicle make up for it being hideous?
![]() 08/15/2014 at 12:46 |
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"and because my G650 was out for an oil change"
Wouldn't have a hard time believing this.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:12 |
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I wish :(
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:17 |
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Brilliant!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:19 |
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Thanks!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:22 |
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If you would've said "my company's G650," I would've seriously believed you.
Also, this review is amazing.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:24 |
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Thanks man!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:28 |
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How I came to this conclusion:
1. You talking about video game announcements and such
2. Having a very nice garage with (at least) a 911 and CLS63.
That means you are clearly a high up executive at Ubisoft.
Or just some politician because D.C.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:30 |
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Such a cool plane. I was extremely lucky to be upgraded to business class on Emirates a few years ago when flying from JFK to Dubai...it was the pinnacle of my commercial air travel experiences. Above is a crappy vid of landing in Dubai from the tail-cam.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:36 |
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Nah dude, I'm 23. I'm just involved in a family business.
A business that may involve dinosaur cloning.
And also, want to be clear: in no way whatsoever do I have a G650 lol, or any other plane for that matter.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:39 |
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That's awesome!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:40 |
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Can i haz dinosaur egg pl0x?
And the fact that you have to make it clear is hilarious.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:41 |
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Yes, you can haz, and also, I realized maybe my sarcasm in the review didn't come through as clearly as I wanted it to, that's all.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:43 |
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Either way, the 4 beers thing was the funniest part.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:43 |
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It was also the best part of the flight. And (I didn't mention this in the article) that was just the first four beers.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:46 |
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AAAWWWWWWWWYEEEAHHH.jpg
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:48 |
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It was so awesome. I was extremely hungover, so very happy to have the added comfort of the lay-flat bed. I popped a xanax and drank two glasses of pre-takeoff bubbly subsequently sleeping for 12 of the 13 hours we were on-board.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:49 |
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Also, I think they kept them refrigerated in liquid nitrogen, because the cans were literally too cold to hold.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:51 |
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Goddamn French.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:56 |
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Not going to lie...four tiny Heinekens might be my definition of hell. But, hey, at least you didn't pay for them (at least not on top of what you were already paying for the seat)!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 13:58 |
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Don't think of it as four tiny Heinekens. Think of it as four tiny Heinekens at a time, for 7 hours.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 14:01 |
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Oh, it's not the cans or quantity, it's the Heineken. If you'd said Kronenberg, I'd be like "Hell yeah man!!!!".
![]() 08/15/2014 at 14:03 |
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Yeah, Heineken is crap. Have to agree with you there.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 14:05 |
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Wow the camera thing looks awesome! I could watch that all flight. I hope this becomes standard on new planes!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 14:26 |
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The tail camera I haven't seen before (probably the coolest!), but the forward looking (from the front/under the plane) and downward cameras have been pretty standard on international flights I've been on (admittedly mostly very long-haul big ones) for many years now.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 14:51 |
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Cool. I haven't flown internationally for a at least 5 years or so, so I must be missing out!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:04 |
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Yes, especially the entertainment options have become a LOT better in recent years...14" wide screens with hundreds of on demand movies, TV shows, music, etc....pretty neat. Also, dare I say the food has improved quite a bit beyond "barely edible" on most of the legit airlines at this point too - or maybe I've just gotten used to it.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:18 |
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I was flying out of SFO a couple months ago, and taxied next to the runway as an A380 was going down it. The thing was at least 1/3rd the way down the runway and looked like it was barely moving. Ugly as hell but goddamn amazing.
And I'd spend the whole flight staring at that tail cam.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:21 |
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you will never see this optimistic display on Malaysia Air
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:21 |
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"I'm not sure if planes have brakes, but at one point we were going really fast in the air, and then at a later point we were stopped on the ground, so something slowed us down. Whatever it was, it worked."
They do have brakes. If you stomp them hard enough, you can even start them on fire!!!
and fun times were had by all
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:22 |
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I guess I will pointlessly add that Ive flown on a few A380s across the Pacific and Atlantic. I am noticeably less tired afterwards than flying a 747 on the same routes. I don't know if its a cabin pressure thing or a comfort thing but its noticeable.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:22 |
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I love the cameras! I think that if I were flying on it, I would be watching these the entire flight instead of a movie.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:22 |
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I watched an A380 climb out of Dulles from a friend's backyard a month or so ago, and it was improbably large. I think the 747 is more attractive (not to mention the A340, which is amazing), but I was super-psyched to see my first A380.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:25 |
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great review, can't wait til i get on one of these. question tho... is "Snowpiercer, which was great" one of your sarcasm sentences? I hope it is.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:27 |
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Great write up! When he brought your beers did a Heineken commercial break out complete with dancing? You missed some key points on handling; we need to know roll rate, time to climb and turning radius. Please work on that for the next one.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:28 |
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Great job! Best thing I've read today.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:29 |
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Well, benzodiazepines and alcohol should never be combined.
That being said, I'll bet you didn't have a bad time.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:31 |
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That's where I took off from! And I took off just about a month ago! So maybe I was on that plane!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:31 |
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Correct, I should have prefaced that with a disclaimer. It will only end one of two ways:
1. A long, coma-like slumber
2. An insane night you will never remember but will probably hear about for a long time from friends
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:32 |
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It quickly gets boring once you are above maybe 1000 feet.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:32 |
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Knowledge is power!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:32 |
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That's exactly how I felt.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:33 |
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My sarcasm level is so advanced that you may never know.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:33 |
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Thanks! That's high praise.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:34 |
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3. A permanent slumber during which you do not need to breathe and also, you decompose.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:36 |
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You had me at "Tremec 6-speed." Good work!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:40 |
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Rumor has it the A380 AMG M sport offers the paddle-shifted ZF 8 speed and 525 carbon fiber seats.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:41 |
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I spend entire flights staring out the window (at least until the sun gets too bright), so no problem there.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:44 |
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I've always wondered about this plane and what it's like to fly on it. I'm intrigued, now, and I'll have to find a way to ride on one. Thanks for this writeup!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:48 |
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Turbine powered jetway? Air France is pulling out all the stops for speed.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:49 |
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That's where they keep the bombs. They all aim backwards and they're jumbled because they are clusterfuck bombs.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:52 |
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last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My neighbour's sister has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
This is what I do,,,,,,,,,,
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:55 |
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I'd have my eye on those camera displays the whole trip watching for missles. Yeah, yeah, I know I'd be dying soon, but it'd be cool to watch at least.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 15:58 |
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"...and each plane costs something like $500 million dollars."
Read this out loud. It says "five hundred million dollars dollars"
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:01 |
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Isn't beer always free on intercontinental flights not flown by an American airline? Has been every time I did it. United is off my short list since they wanted to charge for booze on a 9 hour flight. Who thought that was a good idea?
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:02 |
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My pleasure. All I did was drink some beers on a plane and write about it :)
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:02 |
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But you do have a 911 and CLS63? Which 911? I think your total HP trumps mine. Your total torque is probably twice mine. Your CLS probably has 3 X the torque my E90 has, haha
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:03 |
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That depends on the airplane and airline. My last flight was last year and one of the planes had those ceiling mounted CRTs.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:03 |
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They don't mess around.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:04 |
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Literally any other shape and color would have been more appropriate for an airplane.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:06 |
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Beer that's too cold doesn't taste like anything. But I appreciate the approach.
I was once served red wine on a flight that had been kept in the fridge. Talk about no taste.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:08 |
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Heineken is not great, but there are situations in which it's better to be drinking a Heineken than staying sober. Flights with angry babies come to mind.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:09 |
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Actually it says five hundred dollars million dollars.
Nice try.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:10 |
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June 28, mid-late afternoon. Probably was an Air France bird but I can't remember for certain. :)
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:11 |
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Glad to know I'm not the only person who does that.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:11 |
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You must have nerve-wracking flights.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:12 |
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"Heineken? Fuck That Shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!"
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:14 |
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The airplane is only half the story, what you described was more of an endorsement of Airfrance than the A380. That flight would have been a completely different read on an airline that put number of passengers above creating a memorable and pleasant travel experience. Good job Airfrance.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:17 |
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That's a French market A380, I believe those only came with the 5 speed auto.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:18 |
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We got almost the same shots:
And here it is on it's commemorative 80 years livery:
Also:
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:19 |
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Apparently Air France didn't want you to have the best experience they had to offer. Jen was up there I bet.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:20 |
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"It was a great way to meet fellow travelers (Chat>Create Lobby>Lobby_Name: MILEHIGHCLUB??)"
This is seriously one of the funniest posts I've read on here.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:21 |
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She was, obviously. I'm sure it's the most private part of the plane.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:22 |
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Is that a Heineken energy drink?
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:23 |
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Man I think the camera idea is the coolest thing ever. I remember the first time I rode in a A340 circa 1993 and I saw that it had a live GPS tracker, I practically wet my pants.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:25 |
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I fly Tokyo-SF the most and ANA doesn't fly these planes to SFO so I haven't tried it. I was in Australia and I saw the Qantas plane sitting there when it was brand new. I heard I have to go to San Jose to get on one with ANA, ??? annoying.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:27 |
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Needs cameras in the wingtips along with a radar system to spot when its about clip a CRJ vertical stab.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:33 |
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This was awesome. Very well written.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:34 |
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How many? I'll have all the beers.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:36 |
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Holy wow! I haven't seen one of those on an international flight in at least a decade. Where was this to/from and on which airline?!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:37 |
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Thanks!
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:40 |
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Lets just say plenty. I don't want to set a bad example for all the young jalops
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:40 |
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Detroit to Puerto Vallarta, so international but not that long a flight. It was a United flight, I believe.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:43 |
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Outstanding review. I lol'd at the Tremec bit.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:44 |
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It's fantastic. I think Airbus was first to market with it. It is on newer A330s and A340s as well. When my wife flew what used to be the third longest active haul, Newark to Bangkok, on an A340 (in 2010), the belly cam let her look down on the icy, reflective Arctic.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:45 |
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and also, I realized maybe my sarcasm in the review didn't come through as clearly as I wanted it to, that's all.
Probably not a lot of German readers at this time of day, I bet you're safe.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:45 |
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Thank you, sir.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:54 |
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Clearly, this is the bomb bay of the A380...just in case it gets a Napoleon complex and wans to invade the UK, Russia, or the Middle East. (Edit: and screw you Kinja for missing my click on that photo)
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:56 |
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I have to say that I was disappointed in this review. I found it speculative, and I was disappointed that the reviewer had not even flown the plane. (I am also pretty certain that the A380 does not have a Tremec 6 Speed Manual, but I could be wrong about that). I feel that as a good journalist, our intrepid journalist should have at least taken the stick for take off or landing, either would do, and at least 1 hour of cruise time.
Besides those deficiencies thanks for the review. I will probably never ride on one of these myself, and I am really interested to hear about it. The 2 mile take off must have been weird. I did almost that in a stretch 747 flying London to Singapore, and it felt like we were going to drive there, which was very disconcerting ... 4 beers at once huh? I am surprised they did that, but since AirFrance is not noted for inflight rowdy assaults, I am assuming 4 beers is the amount which keeps guys like you from losing your s**t.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:57 |
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Recently had an A380 experience myself. This was for British Airways though. I totally agree on the quietness of the plane, as it was pretty remarkable.
I was fortunate to have a Club World Business Class seat for both directions (LAX to LHR, LHR to LAX). I sat on the upper deck both ways (I was an upper decker, hehehehe).
http://sky4all.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/ba-a38…
It's a unique seating setup that has you looking directly at the person who is sitting next to you... until after the safety briefing when you can raise the divider. The seat was pretty great, with a fold out LCD TV and a seat that morphs into a flat bed.
I really want to experience the Dreamliner, and I think I prefer the 747 I flew on last year to the Airbus even though it was older and louder. It's just a bit more "cool" for some reason. Regardless, the A380 provided an extremely pleasant journey.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 16:59 |
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I wouldn't be so certain about the "good value" part for the plane. Airbus has received 318 orders so far and delivered 138. According to the NY Times, the plane cost nearly $25 billion to develop, and while list prices are near $400 million, they're offering discounts of up to 50%. Their analysts think the best that Airbus can hope for is to break even on the project
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/10/bus…
![]() 08/15/2014 at 17:00 |
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How was the safety briefing? I can't imagine what it would be like to empty that plane in an emergency. During development, Airbus filled the plane with with 873 people and evacuated it in under 90 seconds. But it doesn't look like any of those people were carrying children, getting their carry-ons or Tweeting the evacuation. All these people probably had very specific instructions on what to do. Which is not to say that people on an average flight don't have instructions, I just doubt that very many of them are listening.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 17:02 |
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Ah yes, I've been on a few flights to Mexico that were pretty bare bones too. I think most domestic airlines are lagging behind the international counterparts, although in instances like this a lot of their flights might actually be longer than many international routes in other parts of the world.
Hopefully they'll start refreshing their planes soon, at least starting with their longer routes - I can't remember the last time I got on a US carrier and thought to myself "damn, that's a nice new plane!" . From what I've read in the news it's definitely not a result of them not making enough money to be able to afford it.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 17:04 |
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So...flying in the A380 is a lot like flying in a large plane. Who knew.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 17:04 |
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Airbus A380 oppo review: The oppo review
380/10 guaffawed frequently.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 17:04 |
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last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My neighbour's sister has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
This is what I do,,,,,,,,,,
![]() 08/15/2014 at 17:05 |
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I flew economy in a nearly empty A380, Frankfurt —> Johannesburg and back. by far the nicest plane i've been in, comfy, quiet, not much engine noise, comfy seats (especially because i had the whole row for myself) and the lufthansa crew was in a great mood due to the lack of passengers.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 17:05 |
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hell yes! awesome feature!!! I would definitely be looking in on this feed periodically throughout my flight...
![]() 08/15/2014 at 17:11 |
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Free alcohol is still pretty much standard for all classes on international flights isn't it? That said, last year I flew from Chile to the US on Copa Air and asked for a scotch neat. Guess they don't drink hard liquor too much because the dude poured me a full-to-the-rim glass of scotch.
![]() 08/15/2014 at 17:21 |
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I lived in France a couple of years ago, and flew back and forth to Dulles a number of times on the A380 (in both coach and business class). Agreed that it is a much more comfortable and quiet (not to mention cooler!) plane than the alternatives. It looks particularly badass sitting at the gate.
The only downside is that to get the A380, I had to connect through Paris-CDG (well, that and, if you're on economy, waiting on a bunch of those stupid Dulles buses to transport you to International arrivals). So the tossup was A380, but via a mess of an airport, or go on United/Lufthansa through Munich, which is a great airport, but you fly on a old, shitty 767. I decided that a few painful hours in the airport is worth trading for 8 hours of more pleasant flying.